Streamline Your Thoughts and Actions so Direct Karma Doesn’t Kick You in the Balls

Ladies and gentlemen, I have just witnessed direct karma. I’m going to back up and state for the record that I am a Christian who belongs to an Episcopal Church in a small town. I’m not preachy but technically, Christians aren’t supposed to believe in karma.

The dictionary gives the following definition:

noun: karma
  1. (in Hinduism and Buddhism) the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.
    • informal
      destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.

The informal definition is the one I’m addressing here. During my Yoga Teacher Training, I studied Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, and some Taoism. The Eastern philosophy of karma is by no means Christian. Yahweh doesn’t say in the Old or New Testament, “What goes around comes around.”

Oh. Wait. Yes. He. Does. “You reap what you sow.” I’m paraphrasing but isn’t that in the Bible?

A few weeks ago, I went to dinner after a tumultuous day at work. I became irritated when the bartender didn’t honor a happy hour drink special and even charged my table for a drink we didn’t order. I noticed that the purple-haired barkeep  took out her contact lenses on top of clean plates while serving food and drinks. She didn’t wash her hands and she squirted extra contact solution into a plastic ramekin which stayed on the bar. Not only was this nasty, but she could have potentially intentionally poured the solution into drinks of customers she didn’t like to get them sick. I’ve heard several bartenders talk about dosing annoying customers with Visine so many times.

parish oyster house bar

You can clearly see the bottle of contact solution and the plastic ramekin on top of the clean plates. I watched the bartender pour the solution into the ramekin and take out her contacts without washing her hands and then handling food/drinks.


After further investigation, I learned that the bartender was the owner’s wife. And since I’m friends with the restaurant’s owner on Facebook, I very well couldn’t report his wife to him, now could I? I waited until the following Monday morning and I called the Health Department of our county. I launched a formal complaint against the restaurant and the bartender; a few hours later, I was punished by the universe as a direct result of my report. I should’ve let sleeping dogs lie. My work car flooded in a freak accident from a flash flood on my way home.

Last Sunday night, I was all alone in my creepy house because my husband was in Texas on business and my son was at the lake with my parents. I freaked out because it was a dark, stormy night and I began to hear a twisted shrieking sound, like an alarm going off in my house. Summers in Alabama have the background noise of cicadas shrilling, and one was stuck in my house. I watched a few YouTube videos to make sure that was the correct sound. To me, the insect is quite creepy.

At work this morning, the IT guy and I were chatting in another coworker’s office. When he left the office and went into the hallway, the other coworker saw a cicada on the IT guy’s back. It was like that moment in Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold had a squirrel on his back and the whole house freaked out. I had the same reaction. My colleague was able to knock off the cicada and the IT guy squashed it.

I returned to my office with my heart still racing from excitement. The IT guy and my colleague came into my office. The IT guy said he wanted to collect the bug and put it in one of our coworker’s trashcans. I said, “There’s my tissue box; use one of those to pick up the dead bug,” and I pointed to the bottom shelf of my bookcase.

Just when the IT guy bent down to get a Kleenex, he put his weight on a rickety shelf and half of the bookcase fell on him! He was laid out on the ground of my office. Several other coworkers heard the commotion and stormed in to help the IT guy.

My colleague said that it was direct karma! The IT guy was going to do something not-so-nice and he immediately had an accident. There was a direct correlation to his actions. Cause and effect. Karma. The universe expands and contracts. Right now, there is so much violence going on especially in the United States. Maybe God or the universe is giving us a wake up call that it’s time to be nicer to each other.

Your thoughts can manifest into reality. If our minds are flooded with negativity about each other and ourselves, those thoughts eventually become a reality. Especially if we cause actions to occur that are harmful to others. The yoga Vedic belief of nonviolence is called ahimsa and it’s one of the Yamas to observe as a yogi. That’s why so many yogis don’t eat meat. Self-harming also falls under this category, and just thinking about how fat I am or how dumb I am is creating a rift in my consciousness. How many of us do this? I know I’m personally on a diet where I should lose 20-25 pounds and I can’t help but fat-shame myself. But I should practice ahimsa and only think positive thoughts about my mind and body. Next time you are about to be mean to yourself, change your thought structure. Set your intention for peace. The IT guy set his intention for unkindness (even as a practical joke) and it created a rift in the universe.

I’m going to think twice about putting out ugly energy in an already wounded world. Forget the afterlife…right now, we are being adjudicated by our punishments directly after we sin. Let’s turn that around and sow kindness instead. I would love to plant positive seeds in the world and see the fruits of love blossom.

Streamline your thoughts. Set your intentions. Have some good karma come your way!


“And when you bring what is within  you out into the world, miracles happen.”-Henry David Thoreau


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